Gibbs's Diary
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Palmer and Spud have found and will now read Gibb's diary. What's going to happen when he catches them?


Title: Gibb's Diary

Summary: Palmer and Spud have found and will now read Gibb's diary. What's going to happen when he catches them?

**Notes: Definitely inspired by Potter Puppet Pals, especially Snape's Diary. I doubt Gibbs is the type to have a diary but then again you never know. Enjoy!**

"Now where is it?" There was a clattering, scuffling sound coming from Titan Blue. No one was around, save for Commander Palmer and Chief Petty Officer "Spud" Cunningham and that was for very good reason.

"Now I know he keeps that bag of Neptunian chocolates in here somewhere!" Palmer exclaimed as the two of them tore apart Lieutenant Gibson "Gibbs" Giberstein's ship.

"And those fancy bubbly waters. They tickle my nose." Spud said with a grin. He reached under the seat and pulled out not a sack or a bottle but a book.

"Is that a book?" Palmer asked, scrunching his nose.

"Yeah I think it is a book."

"Ugh, I hate books. Tell me when the movie comes out."

Spud took a seat and began to thumb through the pages. He stopped and then he started to laugh. "Hey Palmer, guess what? This is Gibbs's diary!"

"What? No way! Gibbs, with a diary?" Palmer made to snatch the book from Spud but he moved out of his reach. They fought over the book for a moment or two before Palmer leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You read it to me. Books are boring."

Spud flipped through the pages and then he burst out laughing. "Listen to this: _May 13__th__, went to Mercury to visit my grandmother. She hit me three times with a wooden spoon so I flipped her off and came home. Have three large lumps on my head."_

Palmer chuckled and said "Thank you Granny Gibbs."

"Thank you?" Spud asked.

"Well we know Gibbs doesn't like wooden spoons now..." Palmer trailed off with a mischievous grin.

"Oh yeah!" Spud laughed though he seemed to not understand. "Oh hey, remember this? _Unveiling of the Statue of Unity, Palmer, Spud, and Sasha were completely trashed. Used statue as guitar and then proceeded to violate in front of women and small children. I read the paper, which Admiral Bitchface used to smack me in the face even though I had nothing to do with it."_

"I vaguely remember that..." Palmer said. "Didn't we nearly get fired and threatened to get shot off Titan in a large cannon?"

Spud shrugged. "I don't know. Bitchface started to yell and I tuned him out."

With a scoff Palmer said, "More like you were too drunk to stand up so you fell face first on the floor."

Spud shook his head and said something Palmer could not understand. As he thumbed through the diary, he saw many short entries, most of which made no sense to him. "What or who," he asked Palmer, "is "my little frog"?"

Palmer thought about that for a minute and then he said "Ewww! Who names _that _'my little frog'?"

Spud shrugged and continued to read. "Hey Palmer?"

"Yeah?"

"Gibbs has a birthday?"

Palmer frowned and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well it says here: _My birthday, finally made it back to Titan after two terrible, unspeakable months in space, all because of the stupidity of Palmer. I hope his date was ugly. Anyway, no one on Titan, from President Caylo to that moron Palmer remembered. Not even Jodi."_

Palmer seemed to be thinking. "You know, I always thought Gibbs just showed up one day."

"Me too!"

"Hey wait a minute! He called me a moron!" Palmer reached for the diary, causing him and Spud to tear a few pages. Then Palmer stopped, which sent Spud flying backwards as he was still pulling at the small book. Palmer picked up the book and grabbed a pen.

"What are you doing?"

"Writing my own entry!" Nearly cackling, Palmer began to write. _My name is Gibbs and I wish I were as handsome and smart as Palmer. No one is better than Palmer! I also kiss my pillow every night and pretend it's Jodi!"_

Due to his and Spud's laughter they did not hear the footsteps as they approached Titan Blue. Palmer handed the pen and diary to Spud who began to write as well. _I am Gibs. I am a bossy jerk with a stick up my - _

His thoughts were not finished for at that moment Gibbs stuck his head in Titan Blue. "What are you two idiots doing in my ship?"

Palmer and Spud looked up, both looking guilty. Then Palmer cast the blame on Spud. "He's reading your diary Gibbs! I told him not to and that it's very wrong to do."

"Hey, I was just looking for the chocolates and the bubbly water!"

Gibbs stepped inside Titan Blue, blocking the only way out. As he began to beat up on his commander and the lower ranking Chief Petty Officer, the entire ship began to rock and shake. Finally Gibbs threw the two of them out of the ship, causing them to land in a heap.

"And if you ever tell anyone about this, I'm going to throw you off the highest building on Titan!"


End file.
